Friday, April 21, 2017

Afloat (or Not) on the Cosign Wave

Boy, has it been a while since my last post! I hope you don't take it too personally--it has been several months since the last time I made an entry in my own personal journal. I've been trying with varying degrees of success to bring a greater sense of order to my life. Here's a little taste of what my "surfing" has been like lately:

I'm kind of over Joseph, to be honest. I texted him a few weeks after our last conversation, only to be greeted by complete silence. Sometime in March, I was randomly visited by two members of the YSA Elders' Quorum Presidency, one of whom was a mutual friend of Joseph's. Upon my inquiry, he shared that he hadn't heard a thing from Joseph since before he moved. That solidified for me that Joseph simply wasn't the type to maintain a friendship unless he was right there. So I'm moving on.

It helped that I have had several positive experiences, several of which included massage exchanges, with guys on Grindr. Although I am disappointed that on a few accounts (actually, virtually all of them), those points of contact didn't result in a lasting friendship for whatever reason, my worth and masculinity were affirmed in positive ways, all while respecting and upholding the law of chastity.

Strangely, that has made me feel like dating in earnest. I say "strangely", because "dating" for me always connotes dating a woman, and it's quite interesting, as I see it, that such experiences would lead me to desire to seek out my wife more proactively. I posted an e-mail to a North Star forum to lightheartedly share my exasperation:

Hey! So I've been thinking quite a bit lately about dating. Although Grindr seems like a sess pool on most days, some of the few times I have actually met any guys in person have reinforced that I have positive qualities that could be seen as attractive by someone else.

I'd like to try dating girls for a change (don't ask me the last time I was on a date...I'm not quite sure...). My only viable option is the wonderful world of online dating (insert fireworks and confetti and exclamation marks here). But here's a taste of what that's been like:


Me: *sets it to nearby.

Me: Oh, this lady is pretty cute, and close to me on the grid. Oh, even better: she lives in Seattle!

Me: *deletes app.

Me: Nice! There are girls that actually live within miles of me.

Me: *does a fist pump. Yeah! I can't even message them without forking out a bunch of cash!! It's my lucky day!

Me: *deletes app.


Me: Splendid! An app so wonderful that it's not even compatible with my phone!

Me: *would delete app for its glaringly obvious problem, except the problem is that I can't download it...

So, dreadful sarcasm aside......does anyone know any dating apps or sites that don't have these problems?

Feel free to leave a comment if you have a possible answer to that question that doesn't include obnoxious (oh, did I actually write that out loud? Oh well.) swipe-right apps like Tinder.

I also had some really good mojo flowing at the gym for a while:

Me: Alright, so I'm tired of feeling like passing out every time I squat twice my bodyweight. But apparently, I can go to the gym three times a week, doing a total of fifty reps of squats each time, as long as I supplement with three scoops of high quality whey protein each day.

Life: Oh, silly, silly Aaron. That would be way too easy! Your stomach will throw a major fit if you do that. Why? Why, life forbid that you should actually catch a foothold and progress somehow! *insert maniacal laughter here*

Needless to say, it's been a few weeks since I worked out consistently.

So I'm on a quest for routine and consistency. Today's been a good day, but I want to/need to keep it up. Life seems to find an inordinate amount of joy in pushing back whenever I stand up and move forward. I think that if I just got some momentum flowing in one department (such as bodybuilding, making friends, or my career), I could carry that into the rest of my life. But for now, I'm just going to focus on the Scriptures--particularly the Book of Mormon--and language development. We'll see if I can make it from the waves to peaceful waters, then to the shore, then to cultivating the promised land.

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