I had somewhat of a feeling, but I don't think I had, or have, much of a grasp concerning what lies behind that inkling.
It's been a month since I sent that letter to Joseph. I tried to be patient, but after two and a half weeks, I sent him a text to reestablish a line of communication. That was two weeks ago today, accounting for this past month as a whole.
I've figured that he needed some time to mull it over, but I began to doubt if that was really the case as more days passed. I began to question if there was some mistake in the address I mailed it to, or the number I was texting--I did receive both from his aunt, after all. Who's to say that she didn't make a small mistake here or there?
It has been two weeks since my last text. Fueled by some mixture of desiring closure, clearing up ambiguity, and simply missing our friendship, I decided just an hour or so ago to text him once more:
"Joseph, I know that you're more than likely going through your own problems. I'll confess that I've allowed myself to fall into a pretty deep depression lately. It would make a big difference if you just said something--anything.
"You were the one who showed me the value of vulnerability, after all."
"Aaron, I am so sorry I didn't respond to you. I have a letter that I'll get to you asap [sic] if you'll hold on just a bit."
I thanked him, and asked if he had a means of sending it. His response:
"If you would give me your email address I could get it to you faster, especially since its [sic] so overdue."
I have no idea what this foretells. I had no idea that he would need an entire letter to articulate a response to my thoughts. I mostly wanted to start a conversation, and be honest. I am clueless as to which direction this will lead, but one thing is for sure...
I need to calm down my heart rate before I donate plasma today...
*As always, names were changed to be consistent with the pseudonyms that I have used throughout my blog, to preserve the privacy of all involved.